A Community For Men
Download the IML App
.svg)
.svg)
Mission
To Help 1 Crore Indian Men
Get over social anxiety, be more confident, get dates, &
get into deeper, fulfilling relationships.
get into deeper, fulfilling relationships.
My Story
10 years ago, Kshitij had the same problems that many Indian men face today.
Growing up in an all-boys school,
.svg){kind=icon}
Connect Before You Correct
Child's Listening Skills
Harnessing Positive Emotions
Building Self-Esteem & Image
Building Mental Fortitude
Anchoring for Success
He had no idea how to talk to girls, or how to get a girlfriend.
He was worried about coming across as creepy or needy.
He was constantly being friend zoned by the girls he liked.
He suffered from approach anxiety, and…
In fact, his ears would turn red anytime he had a conversation with a woman!
All the advice out there sounded great but in practical life didn’t work. It was all B.S.
Kshitij understands how it feels to be lonely, to be rejected, and to feel not good enough for her.
Always feeling like he had to be rich, get a fancy car, get 6-pack abs, and be famous to even get a girlfriend.
Frustrated and lonely, he knew he couldn’t live like this and decided to work on himself.
He went out everyday to malls, clubs, cafes, and local markets to work on his social skills and meet women.
After 5 long years of struggle, he finally transformed into into a confident man who could walk into any situation, approach any girl he liked, and start a conversation. Successfully building attraction and interest at the same time.
Today, he is happily married with the type of girl he always wanted to be with.
But, success didn’t come to him easy.
Always feeling like he had to be rich, get a fancy car, get 6-pack abs, and be famous to even get a girlfriend.
Frustrated and lonely, he knew he couldn’t live like this and decided to work on himself.
He went out everyday to malls, clubs, cafes, and local markets to work on his social skills and meet women.
After 5 long years of struggle, he finally transformed into into a confident man who could walk into any situation, approach any girl he liked, and start a conversation. Successfully building attraction and interest at the same time.
Today, he is happily married with the type of girl he always wanted to be with.
But, success didn’t come to him easy.
.png)
Kshitij had to learn all of this the hard way!
Without the right information, right mentor, or a community of men to help guide him along the way.
Without the right information, right mentor, or a community of men to help guide him along the way.
That’s why he created Iron Man Lifestyle.
Connect Before You Correct
Child's Listening Skills
Harnessing Positive Emotions
Building Self-Esteem & Image
Building Mental Fortitude
Anchoring for Success
A place where Indian men can get real dating advice that works.
A place where they can learn about female psychology and what really gets women attracted. (It’s not looks, money, 6-pack abs, or fame.)
A place where men can feel safe and open up about their personal issues.
Today, Kshitij, along with everyone at Iron Man Lifestyle, is on a mission to help 1 Crore Indian Men get into fulfilling relationships.
IML Journey
.svg)
.svg)
.svg)
.svg)
2010
Joined college, and had a crush on this girl that would make Kshitij’s face and ears go red.
July 2012
Decided to work on himself and started going out to meet women. Did his 1st ever approach.
Nov 2012
Got his first girlfriend
.svg)
.svg)
.svg)
.svg)
.svg)
Dec 2019
First International Immersion Program in Thailand
Jan 2018
Online Mentorship Program Launch
Dec 2016
1st in-person Dating Bootcamp in Delhi. Followed by Mumbai and Bangalore in the coming months.
Sep 2016
Uploaded his 1st YouTube video
.svg)
.svg)
.svg)
.svg)
Mar 2020
Completed 100 in-person Dating Bootcamps
July 2012
Hit 100k subscribers on YouTube
Nov 2012
Hit 500k subscribers on YouTube.
IML Journey
2010
Joined college, and had a crush on this girl that would make Kshitij’s face and ears go red.
July 2012
Decided to work on himself and started going out to meet women. Did his 1st ever approach.
Nov 2012
Got his first girlfriend
Dec 2019
First International Immersion Program in Thailand
Jan 2018
Online Mentorship Program Launch
Dec 2016
1st in-person Dating Bootcamp in Delhi. Followed by Mumbai and Bangalore in the coming months.
Sep 2016
Uploaded his 1st YouTube video
Mar 2020
Completed 100 in-person Dating Bootcamps
July 2012
Hit 100k subscribers on YouTube
Nov 2012
Hit 500k subscribers on YouTube.
Understanding Dating Struggles of Men:
Why do Indian Men suck at Dating?
Checkout this tweet:
A software engineer working in a FAANG company in Bengaluru...
Recently wrote a viral post on social media expressing his honest experience of being lonely,
Despite earning 58 lakhs as his annual salary and going to the gym.
This is the reality for most successful Indian Men today.
Even after being successful and fit, they are lonely and can’t find a partner to be with.
Here are a few reasons why:
1.Lack of correct information or guidance
One of the reasons men today struggle with dating, is because they were never taught.
No father or an elder brother gave them the education on how to talk to a woman and get her interested in them. Without making it creepy.
Additionally, there is a lot of misinformation in this digital age.
Bollywood movies and fake “Gold digger pranks” make matters worse.
With so many voices on the internet with contradicting opinions on dating, it’s not surprising that men are confused.
What’s worse is that most of the dating advice floating around is given by people who aren’t qualified:
No father or an elder brother gave them the education on how to talk to a woman and get her interested in them. Without making it creepy.
Additionally, there is a lot of misinformation in this digital age.
Bollywood movies and fake “Gold digger pranks” make matters worse.
With so many voices on the internet with contradicting opinions on dating, it’s not surprising that men are confused.
What’s worse is that most of the dating advice floating around is given by people who aren’t qualified:
Connect Before You Correct
Child's Listening Skills
Harnessing Positive Emotions
Building Self-Esteem & Image
Building Mental Fortitude
Anchoring for Success
People who have never done a successful approach in their life.
People that are actually business or fitness coaches, but they have an opinion on how dating works.
Hurt men who demonize women because of their not-so-good past experiences with women.
Men trying to be Sigma Males, but actually just hiding their insecurities behind the Sigma persona.
2. Limiting Beliefs
The biggest thing that holds men back from having the dating lives they dream of is limiting beliefs.
Most of us have grown up being taught things like:
Most of us have grown up being taught things like:
Connect Before You Correct
Child's Listening Skills
Harnessing Positive Emotions
Building Self-Esteem & Image
Building Mental Fortitude
Anchoring for Success
Women want only looks and money
Focus on yourself and girls will come to you automatically
She’s too hot/ tall/ young/ old/ rich/ famous for me
Some men are naturally good with women and others aren’t (and never will be)
3. Fear of Rejection
The most common reason you will hear men give you for not approaching women is “I don’t want her to reject me” or “What if she rejects me?”
When a girl rejects them, it doesn’t just feel like she is not interested in him. It feels like he’s being rejected as a human being. This cuts into the very core of their self-esteem.
Most men grow up with low self-esteem and have very little confidence in themselves. To make it worse, the “fear of rejection” stops them from even trying.
When a girl rejects them, it doesn’t just feel like she is not interested in him. It feels like he’s being rejected as a human being. This cuts into the very core of their self-esteem.
Most men grow up with low self-esteem and have very little confidence in themselves. To make it worse, the “fear of rejection” stops them from even trying.
4. Obsessed with that “one special girl”
We see a lot of men get obsessed over this “one special girl”:
Connect Before You Correct
Child's Listening Skills
Harnessing Positive Emotions
Building Self-Esteem & Image
Building Mental Fortitude
Anchoring for Success
They may have never spoken to her,
She might not even interested in them
Has friend zoned them
Has left them, or
Is already in a committed relationship with someone else.
Still, they pedestalize her on such a level that they think she is their ”Soulmate.”
And stay obsessed with her months, years, and even decades.
And stay obsessed with her months, years, and even decades.
5. Not understanding that Dating is a skill.
In India, people prioritize finance and status over everything else to a point where they consider dating, socializing, etc., to be distractions. This is what men have been told while growing up.
If there’s one thing I’ve learnt over the last 10 years, it’s that EVERYTHING is a skill.
If there’s one thing I’ve learnt over the last 10 years, it’s that EVERYTHING is a skill.
Somehow, we’ve been taught that :
Connect Before You Correct
Child's Listening Skills
Harnessing Positive Emotions
Building Self-Esteem & Image
Building Mental Fortitude
Anchoring for Success
Making money is a skill. Something to work on.
Fitness is a skill. Something to work on.
But, your relationships or dating life…are something just that come to you at the right time?
Quotes like - “Just make a good garden, and the butterflies will come automatically.” Makes it worse.
No matter who you are - Navigating the dating world and learning how to talk to the opposite sex without creeping them out, is a skill that can be learned.
Quotes like - “Just make a good garden, and the butterflies will come automatically.” Makes it worse.
No matter who you are - Navigating the dating world and learning how to talk to the opposite sex without creeping them out, is a skill that can be learned.
6. Dating and Sex is still taboo in India.
Even today, there are schools in India where children are monitored and punished if they talk to a girl.
So, it’s no surprise that men hide their intentions and are scared of talking to girls from a young age.
Which leads them to just being friends with them and being stuck in the Friend Zone for years.
The worst part is both men and women lose because of this.
So, it’s no surprise that men hide their intentions and are scared of talking to girls from a young age.
Which leads them to just being friends with them and being stuck in the Friend Zone for years.
The worst part is both men and women lose because of this.
Fear of what others think
The fear of what others think will become less and less controlling. Time does heal,…
Read Post
Gaining Control of Your “Little Voice”
People say that money, success, and relationships aren‘t necessarily what life is all about. And…
Read Post
The Game Starts With You
I’ve been doing this for a long time. And if there’s one thing I’ve noticed…
Read Post
Why Dating coaching?
A lot of men don’t meet a woman on their own and spend their entire lives waiting for the perfect woman to just land in their life.
If they do end up getting into a relationship with a woman, it’s often with someone who is not right for them.
Then they go on to staying in an unhappy relationship because “atleast koi toh mili.” If they leave her, then they’re scared of going back to the single life.
Surprisingly, these men have excellent jobs, hit the gym, and otherwise have their lives together.
However, these things STILL don’t allow them to escape loneliness.
There’s clearly a huge gap in understanding Men’s struggles with loneliness and dating, and how to solve for it.
We need to start looking at dating from a different POV.
That everything is a skill.
As an Indian or South Asian man, You can learn how to get the dating and social life that you want.
The idea that some men are gifted while other men are destined to be alone is totally false.
If they do end up getting into a relationship with a woman, it’s often with someone who is not right for them.
Then they go on to staying in an unhappy relationship because “atleast koi toh mili.” If they leave her, then they’re scared of going back to the single life.
Surprisingly, these men have excellent jobs, hit the gym, and otherwise have their lives together.
However, these things STILL don’t allow them to escape loneliness.
There’s clearly a huge gap in understanding Men’s struggles with loneliness and dating, and how to solve for it.
We need to start looking at dating from a different POV.
That everything is a skill.
As an Indian or South Asian man, You can learn how to get the dating and social life that you want.
The idea that some men are gifted while other men are destined to be alone is totally false.
The best people in the world have coaches. Virat Kohli wouldn’t be the best batsman in the world if it weren’t for his coach.
The three most important areas of life to master are:
Connect Before You Correct
Child's Listening Skills
Harnessing Positive Emotions
Building Self-Esteem & Image
Building Mental Fortitude
Anchoring for Success
Health
Wealth, and
Relationships.
Most people get some form of coaching for the first two.
They go to college, take up courses, hit the gym, etc.
However, when it comes to dating and relationships, they expect things to happen to them automatically.
Enter Dating Coaching for Indian/ South Asian Men.
Which happens to be the most effective form of coaching for learning how to meet and interact with women.
To get started, click on the button below to Apply for Mentorship.
They go to college, take up courses, hit the gym, etc.
However, when it comes to dating and relationships, they expect things to happen to them automatically.
Enter Dating Coaching for Indian/ South Asian Men.
Which happens to be the most effective form of coaching for learning how to meet and interact with women.
To get started, click on the button below to Apply for Mentorship.
The Science of Dating/Attraction
Attraction for Men and Women works differently.
Men are more visual and get attracted like a light switch. If they like how a woman looks, there is attraction.
For women, attraction is more like a volume knob. It’s slower.
She will see you, maybe you look good, she might be interested in you.
But to really be attracted she needs to talk to you, know you better, and spend time with you.
So, women go through various emotions and experiences with a man from being an acquaintance to being your partner.
Men are more visual and get attracted like a light switch. If they like how a woman looks, there is attraction.
For women, attraction is more like a volume knob. It’s slower.
She will see you, maybe you look good, she might be interested in you.
But to really be attracted she needs to talk to you, know you better, and spend time with you.
So, women go through various emotions and experiences with a man from being an acquaintance to being your partner.
After a decade of research and trial-and-error, we have categorized these stages as follows:
1. Attention
First, she needs to register your presence.
You have to get her attention (and keep it).
The first step is to get her to notice you and make an excellent first impression.
Here’s how you can make it happen:
You have to get her attention (and keep it).
The first step is to get her to notice you and make an excellent first impression.
Here’s how you can make it happen:
Connect Before You Correct
Child's Listening Skills
Harnessing Positive Emotions
Building Self-Esteem & Image
Building Mental Fortitude
Anchoring for Success
Great fashion, style, and grooming
Sub-communications :
Confident and welcoming body language
Direct eye contact
Loud (but not brash) and confident vocal tonality that cuts through and gets her attention, and…
A Smile that conveys friendliness and warmth.
2. Interest
As mentioned earlier, just the first impression isn’t enough.
You need to come across as interesting and engaging to talk to.
You can’t be like any other guys and say the same things.
Here's how you can build Interest:
You need to come across as interesting and engaging to talk to.
You can’t be like any other guys and say the same things.
Here's how you can build Interest:
Connect Before You Correct
Child's Listening Skills
Harnessing Positive Emotions
Building Self-Esteem & Image
Building Mental Fortitude
Anchoring for Success
Learn how to become an interesting conversationalist.
Conversation that focuses on emotions and not details & facts.
3. Attraction
Most guys suck at getting the girl attracted. The most common mistakes they make are:
Connect Before You Correct
Child's Listening Skills
Harnessing Positive Emotions
Building Self-Esteem & Image
Building Mental Fortitude
Anchoring for Success
Asking too many (boring) questions like “where are you from?”, “what do you do?”, “what brings you here?’.
These are questions that EVERYONE asks her, that are likely to get her bored.
These are questions that EVERYONE asks her, that are likely to get her bored.
They try to build connection and get her personal information, even before she actually likes them.
They try to brag and buy the girl’s attraction through showing off their money, cars, getting her a drink, etc.
The truth is attraction doesn’t work that way.
It’s more about her feeling a certain way.
It’s about evoking the right emotions and attraction triggers to make her feel something for you.
Girls get tons of attention from all sorts of guys: colleagues, classmates, male friends, strangers online, etc.
However, these people don’t evoke the right emotions and attraction triggers to create that spark, and hence get nowhere with her.
Specifically most Indian and South Asian men just - Ask Questions, Give Compliments, or just Agree with her on everything.
Which just gets her bored, or lands Men in the Friend Zone.
What you need to establish is a MAN TO WOMAN dynamic.
It’s more about her feeling a certain way.
It’s about evoking the right emotions and attraction triggers to make her feel something for you.
Girls get tons of attention from all sorts of guys: colleagues, classmates, male friends, strangers online, etc.
However, these people don’t evoke the right emotions and attraction triggers to create that spark, and hence get nowhere with her.
Specifically most Indian and South Asian men just - Ask Questions, Give Compliments, or just Agree with her on everything.
Which just gets her bored, or lands Men in the Friend Zone.
What you need to establish is a MAN TO WOMAN dynamic.
Here’s how to make it work:
Connect Before You Correct
Child's Listening Skills
Harnessing Positive Emotions
Building Self-Esteem & Image
Building Mental Fortitude
Anchoring for Success
Focus on Banter and having a fun conversation
Make her laugh and enjoy talking to you.
Maintain a healthy balance between flirting and playfully teasing.
Take a stand on things. Don’t just blindly agree to what she’s saying.
4. Connection
Now that we’ve established attraction, we need to build an emotional connection with the girl.
She needs to know that you have a personality.
Otherwise, you will come across as a f**kboi.
She needs to know that you have a personality.
Otherwise, you will come across as a f**kboi.
Here’s how to make it work:
Connect Before You Correct
Child's Listening Skills
Harnessing Positive Emotions
Building Self-Esteem & Image
Building Mental Fortitude
Anchoring for Success
Learn how to tell short, fun, adventurous stories.
Get to know her.
Choose the right conversational topics to make your conversations personal but not invasive.
Don’t forget to maintain the playful, fun vibe.
At this stage, either the woman gets bored, loses attraction, or puts men in the friend zone. Or all of the above.
5. Intimacy
By this time she already likes you and there is some trust and connection between you.
Now, you need to move things forward and build more intimacy.
Which is in 2 forms - Emotional and Physical.
Here, men get stuck in the talking stage and are too afraid to make a move.
As a result, you lose out on women who you thought didn’t like you, but were actually hoping you would make the move.
You need to learn to be the man that leads and makes things happen, instead of waiting for things to happen to you.
How to make it work?
Now, you need to move things forward and build more intimacy.
Which is in 2 forms - Emotional and Physical.
Here, men get stuck in the talking stage and are too afraid to make a move.
As a result, you lose out on women who you thought didn’t like you, but were actually hoping you would make the move.
You need to learn to be the man that leads and makes things happen, instead of waiting for things to happen to you.
How to make it work?
This includes:
Connect Before You Correct
Child's Listening Skills
Harnessing Positive Emotions
Building Self-Esteem & Image
Building Mental Fortitude
Anchoring for Success
Knowing each other inside out by sharing secrets and things that might be uncomfortable to you.
Spending more time with each other
Talking and meeting frequently.
Don’t be afraid to take the lead. If you want to take her on a date, suggest it without apologizing (assuming she’s interested and consents to this, of course).
Learn how to break the physical barrier in a way that ensures she’s comfortable so that you’re holding hands, hugging, and kissing each other.
Move things to the bedroom. (Keep consent in mind, make sure she’s comfortable all along the way.)
This might shock you to know but Sex between two consenting adults is okay. And one of the most important pillars of a male-female relationship
And women love sex as much as men, if not more.
DISCLAIMER:
At this point it's very important to keep Consent in mind, and make sure she's okay at all times. It's better to err on the side of caution.
As a man, it's your responsibility to step back if you feel she's uncomfortable at any point in time. This will make her feel safe and be able to trust you more in the future.
DISCLAIMER:
At this point it's very important to keep Consent in mind, and make sure she's okay at all times. It's better to err on the side of caution.
As a man, it's your responsibility to step back if you feel she's uncomfortable at any point in time. This will make her feel safe and be able to trust you more in the future.
The Solution - Dating Coaching For Men
The solution here is Personal Development.
To work on yourself and becoming a better version of yourself.
To work on yourself and becoming a better version of yourself.
Learning + Missions + Coaching + Accountability + Community
.png)
If you’re struggling with dating and want to overcome Social Anxiety, Build Confidence, Learn how to talk to Women, and Meet Your Ideal Partner...
Apply for Mentorship 2.0
Apply for Mentorship 2.0
STEP 1
Apply for Mentorship 2.0
Click on the link below to apply for the 1-on-1 Mentorship Program by filling out an initial application, and book a Dating Roadmap call with one of our Dating Experts.
STEP 2
.svg)
Get A Custom Dating Roadmap
Our Dating Expert will do a Root-Cause Analysis and understand your current situation and goals. Based on which, we will plan a custom Dating Roadmap for you.
STEP 3
.svg)
Start Building Confidence and Going On Dates
Get real-time coaching and custom feedback to quickly go on dates, build confidence, and date your dream girl.
Our Core Value:
Do What’s Best for the client.
Featured In:
.svg)
FAQs
Curious minds, we’ve got you covered
.svg)
.svg)
Does this even work in India?
Can you help me get my ex back?
Can you help me get my best friend who I’ve been friends with for over a year?
Can you help me get my crush?
I’m looking to get married
I don't want to hook up with girls.
Women are evil. I’m scared to date them.
I don't want gold diggers
.png)
.svg)
Download the IML App
Kickstart your dating journey with our free course, community, and regular live sessions.
-Badge-Logo.wine.svg){kind=icon}
.png)